ladies room

This was a very early attempt. It's pretty awkward. Second person and over detailed. Go ahead and rip it apart in the comments. It's not at all precious to me.








Kendra approaches the table with a an apathetic smile. She recites her excuse, “Sorry for being late. The girls from work wanted to finish off happy hour.” Gerry pops up to give her a kiss and she offers her cheek.
“No worries sweety! It’s your day!”
They sit and study the menu. “Gerry this place is a little pricey for us” she says eyes wide on the prices.
Gerry gushes, “Oh babe, really, it’s your big day. I’ve got it. I already ordered champagne. My beauty deserves the best.”
Kendra sighs and rolls her eyes behind the menu.
A bottle of Veuve Cliqout arrives at the table. Along with it an elaborate ice block with porcelain dishes of russian caviar and two tiny silver spoons.
“ I hope you like it, my princess deserves a silver spoon” he says.
He scoops up a heap of caviar and tries to feed to her. She stays tight lipped. “Gerry we are not in that kind of restaurant. I can feed myself.”
The waiter appears and offers the specials. Gerry rudely interrupts “ We would like the porterhouse for two- rare, a side of creamed spinach, a side of hash browns and the baked alaska for dessert. Oh and the oysters to begin.” he shoves the menu at the waiter.
Kendra looks at her menu again and apologetically hands it to the waiter. She sighs again.
“Kitten I have some gifts for you!”
Gerry is seeming fidgety and anxious. He adjusts his watch and the cuffs of his shirt with a magicians style of hand movements. He reaches into a big Macy’s bag he has under the table and pulls out a small perfectly gift wrapped box.
“Here is the first one” he sings out.
She opens the gift. An Hermes ribbon scarf.
“Wow...that’s...really... nice” she seems kind of stunned.
He stands up and quickly excuses himself to the rest room.
He is in the restroom so long she finishes the oysters, most of the champagne and asks the waiter to slice and serve the porterhouse.  When Gerry finally returns he waves down the waiter before he sits.
“I asked to start with oysters” he snaps. His eyes are looking watery and shifty. His mouth is chewing an imaginary wad of gum.
“Sir, the lady...” the waiter begins to explain in a calm and patient manor.
“ I ate the whole thing” Kendra smirks. “Sorry, you’ve been gone so long. I thought maybe you left. I know you weren’t fixing your hair.”
The hair part is a joke since he is bald. She speaks in a playful manner she even looks him in the eyes and gives him a cheesy wink. She handily flirts her way out of his irrational aggression.
“Thank you, everything is lovely so far” she says directly to the waiter in order to dismiss him from the scene.
“Let’s eat” she speaks with a warm tone.
Kendra eats her meal while Gerry talks on and on. Explaining all about his work problems and how he is the only useful guy in his office. Then he starts giving Kendra unsolicited advise on all aspects of her life. She barely says two words during the meal. When the plates are cleared Gerry has eaten two bites, Kendra has eaten her entire share.
He takes out another gift package. A giant bottle of Chanel No 5 eu de toillete. Which is not at all a scent she would ever wear.
She politely says “classic, very nice, thank you”  using her rehearsed warm tone.
  He gives her a third, it’s Prada sunglasses. Now he’s zero for three on colossal  wastes of money. Kendra simply smiles and claims she is overwhelmed. She excuses herself to use the ladies room. She calls her best friend Beth.
“He always seemed very conservative with his money in the past. O.K. fine, he’s always been painfully cheap. Only lately he’s completely changed. Why did he wait until now? Listen, I have to get out of here before gifts four and five.”
They start to plot her escape when two very loud giggling girls enter the ladies room talking about the lame cocaine dealer at the back table.
“What’s his name again” one chuckles.
“Gerry, it’s Gerry the bald dude” they laugh.
“ Beth I have to call you back” Kendra hangs up on her friends and opens her stall.
“Hi ladies!” and she actually waves her hand.
“I have a few questions for you.”